Twists of Fate; Oh the Irony
2017 was a year that flipped my life’s script in the most unexpected ways. I was at a stage where relaxation and fun were my priorities and we indulged! It marked the beginning of my relationship with Marco and while I was busy ignoring the whole mild proctitis thing we were having fun. Long weekends away, gigs, clubs, pubs, restaurants, plays, you name it, we were in the honeymoon period and enjoying it.
The decision
Amidst this whirlwind of fun, Marco dropped a bombshell early on, not once but twice, with the straightforward declaration, “I want kids.” This statement took me by surprise. The idea of having children had never been on my radar. I wasn’t hearing any ticking from my biological clock. But here I was, faced with a decision that could shape the future of our relationship. I had to consider not just the desire to have his children but also my ability to.
At 38, I hadn’t given a second thought to my fertility. Why would I? The desire for kids had never been part of my plan. Terms like ‘geriatric pregnancy’ or ‘advanced maternal age’ were completely foreign to me. After undergoing some tests, the results weren’t perfect, but they weren’t the end of the world either. There were a few health aspects I needed to address.
Anxiety had crept into my life over the past few years, a common adversary for many. I challenge anyone over 30 to claim they’ve never felt its grasp. My hands would shake with the slightest stress, turning my handwriting into a scribbled mess, and small worries would magnify and cascade creating other concerns.
I turned to acupuncture to tackle this anxiety, supplementing it with a health-focused diet, smoothies, and supplements. The effects were remarkable. Within weeks, I was handling stress and work conflicts with newfound ease. Acupuncture proved to be a powerful ally, helping me through various health challenges.
By September, my decision was clear. I was ready to dive deeper into my relationship with Marco and open to the idea of starting a family with him. I even attempted to express my feelings in Italian, “Sono innamorato di te”, it was so romantic, it was like something out of the movies… then he corrected my Italian ?
The family
Christmas in Sicily brought the opportunity to meet Marco’s family. Their generosity was overwhelming, and their lively conversations often left me wondering if they were chatting or arguing. My constant use of ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ seemed to bemuse them – a quirk of my British upbringing. They’ve got used to it now.
Anyway, I digress. My Italian was still very basic, but I definitely understood when his mum asked me when she would be having grandchildren. Argh!!
The question about grandchildren nudged us to have ‘the talk.’ With my 40th birthday on the horizon, there was a palpable sense of urgency. Marco’s laid-back nature meant decision-making was often a slow process, but once we decided, things moved quickly.
My 40th was a month-long celebration, defying the typical age crisis with a vibrant drum and bass festival in Croatia. Post-festival, I embraced a clean lifestyle – ditching caffeine, cutting back on alcohol, and eliminating processed foods and toxins.
But life had another twist in store. Just as we began our journey towards starting a family, my IBD returned, more severe than ever, and it took my menstrual cycle with it.